say you will

misery. eurgh. Spring is breaking forth & i’m just sad. i love Spring, and sunniness and maybe no rain for a while, but i’m all over the place today. miserable, sort of.

anyway. to amuse myself, i’m reading a really ridiculous article about ‘how to flirt sexually with a woman.‘ i don’t know why i’m reading it, i have little intention of seducing any chicks any time soon, so i suppose the joke’s on me for being such a time-wasting douche.
but it’s making me chuckle with how utterly ludicrous it is. and also, flirt sexually? how else can you flirt? philanthropically? immense.

example one of how ludicrous this article is:

…For example, when you find out a woman is from, say, Spain, you can say to her: “Hmm, you know what they say about women from Spain, don’t you?” Then let your sly smile and rock-solid eye contact suggest that you know Spanish women are, well, let’s just say a lot of fun.

that doesn’t sound sexy. that sounds TERRIFYING and A BIT RACIST.

example two.

…For example, let’s say you get a woman a cup of tea; you can follow up by saying: “Looks like you’re on the receiving end today. Do you always receive or do you like to give at times too?” Crack a slight smile and she will know exactly what you are talking about.

if someone said this to me in that situation, i’d call the police.

okay, final example.

Want to know a secret about female sexuality that 99% of men don’t know? Here it is: Many women feel compelled to vacuum their house when they’re ovulating. Some experts believe it has something to do with wanting to “clean the nest” before laying her “egg.” So, when a woman tells you she is vacuuming, say: “Vacuuming? Are you ovulating or something?” She’ll be stunned that you know this and wonder what else you know about female sexuality. Of course, if she doesn’t know what you mean, fill her in. Women love it when you teach them something new — especially about themselves.

UHHHH. TOO MUCH. it’s like i feel an overload of wrong.
it’s pretty much been televised as

appalling. ‘the…signals…we give off…‘
men who speak like that are morons. don’t tell me why i’m hoovering! (because i’m probably not anyway.)

today started very well. i had breakfast with my boyfriend & one of our best pals at the Sausage & Mash Cafe off Liverpool Street. it was divine.
i just need to never never never never never never never give up.

hari krishna,

e x

~ by littleblue on February 27, 2009.